frustration...with just my own self...

some things i do well.

some things i do really well.

some things i try to do well but they take work. (that's okay. i'm good with challenges...)

and sometimes i think i'm on my game and then *bam*.

i'm not.

so tonight i realized it's october 29th and i am behind in a monthly duty for work
(there are very vaild other work reasons for this occurring in the first place. i didn't mean to slack, scout's honor!)
also got a rightfully questioning email from a coworker basically saying 'what gives??'

so i am sitting here at home after a good workout with my run club (praise the good guy upstairs for this group...they really save my sanity and make me a better person...) and am slaving away over ordering books for the kids department from a major library jobber's website.

so tired....

but then right after i sit down, here comes my girl ellie...


and all is right with the world in that moment. purring commences...and i continue to frantically type away ISBN numbers...

and then, all of a sudden, it's almost time for bed and another day to start....*yawn*. til later...~jd

birthdays....

it's the season.

mom's was sept 7th.

dad's is tomorrow (10/26) along with his fraternal twin bro of course... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!! since i know he actually does read this....

here we are at my step-sister karen's wedding in january...


mark's is in a week....(best get shopping. hope to find the perfect gift...)
his present will be obama pulling it out 2 days after his birthday as a gift...help us all...

and my candles get blown out is in 3 weeks. all 35 of them. how the hell did that happen?? but i took this online quiz recently and apparently my 'true' age is 18. hmmmmm, is that a good thing?? physically, yo, i'll take it!! emotionally or mentally? i know i'm much more 35 than 18...

anwyay, related to my b-day...

so tonight i found these online. told dh about them...but it's not a suprise when you find your *own* presents ;) so i can dream...



to me these are part biker chick and part totally practical and would be well worn with jeans or waitressing in my black duds for those times when i just can't wear the kickin' cowboy boots....and a few of my peeps are super fans of clogs...long live dansko!!

birthdays are fun. great times to get friends together. time to drink. and the best old fashioned gift? besides seeing your favorite people, to me, it's birthday cards in the *actual* mail. those colorful envelopes might be enough. the handwritten signature. a small handwritten message. that have NOTHING to do with email or typing or any of that.

it's the one time a year (okay at christmas i'm a big fan of photo cards too) i much prefer snail mail. heck ride a pony to get it to me. if i can see your actual signature, hoo-ray! (i mean if you really think about it, how many of you would be able to recognize a good friend's actual handwriting if a sample was given?) a little sad to me. but ironic i guess since i can't 'handwrite a blog entry ;) yet. goodness knows what will happen 5 or 10 years from now...

OMG. a blog post without ONE SINGLE WORD about my sporty past-time. :) it's the off season :) though i did do 7 miles today. but just to retain some sort of routine....

so again, happy birthday Dad. i'll talk to you tomorrow....your loving daughter ~jmd

all's well....

that ends well...

the weekend is hours from being over and it's been a busy no-as-sick-as-i-felt-thursday 3 days....

friday: day off of work.. laid low, read, did a few errands, waitressed @ night. busy evening at usrula's helped bring in a little extra money for sunday's plans...
saturday: 9am, took part in the 'run for the apples' 5 mile race out at pine tree orchards out in white bear lake. just out past jesse ventura's heavily guarded house....

rudi, kim, cindy, kristi & i all ran the race. in good times too (cindy and i both PR'd, which means we ran our fastest 5 mile race time yet....)

we had heard from 4 other team mates of our's that this race is *horrible*. like the words 'hell' & 'satan' were both used....rather strong, and the mention of at least one killer hill, if not more than that were talked about. supposedly a horrible rutted trail race through an orchard & pumpkin patch, and oh yes, some corn.

well bring it on! i love a good challenge....

so the race started at 9, and just as we started, two majestic huge white trumpeter swans took off right over us. VERY cool! love me my birdlife, especially while out running...can't say why, but there it is...

finished about 46 minutes later, enjoyed fresh cider, apples (of course) and then purchased some yummy goods in their store before hitting a breakfast spot with the runner girls. and would i do that race again? heck, yes!! i don't know what those girls were beetchin' about....

saturday afternoon, did NOTHING. very bad. i should have been doing SOMETHING but just didn't feel like it.

saturday night, enjoyed a great campfire (i took to being the 'wood wench' to keep the fire big and hot) at a friend's big open house party. met some new friends of hers, hung out with a few i know well, and enjoyed a great fall evening by firelight...
it looked like this, without that lake in the background ;)















sunday: made up for saturday basically, in terms of doing something productive. started it at work. wanted to check in a great many new materials that came in for the kids dept on thursday & friday...and i really wanted time alone to weed. aka go through my Juvy nonfiction area, book by book in the 500s and choose what is old. out of date, or in bad condition (or all 3) and make space on the shelves....

so i put in a good three hours of solid work getting things in order, processed and weeded...without any interruption. bliss. and hugely productive!

then i was time to come home and restain the deck. (mark recently replaced 5 rotting boards that were in dire need of being taken out) and in that we had 20 red boards and 5 white ones. not good. esp for OCD girl.

so i stained the deck floor, sealed the windows with zip strip, cleaned the first floor, did laundry and a plethora of little tasks....

and mark was home most of the day as well, and he made some rockin' home made bread that has made the house smell like a bakery....:) there are worse things....

now we actually are heading on a date night with some friends, which hasn't happened in a long time. so i'm looking forward to that....and on that note, i must get my arss going as we're leaving shortly....have a good week...~jd

weekend recap...

one of my favorite shots from the trip. i never take a camera with, but this race i felt really needed the camera present. i absolutely love fall & the woods overall...

and while i'm not wholly unhappy with myself with this race's results, i'm not thrilled either.

finished my last big race of the year (that i've planned).

i was consistent. i did run well for almost all of the race. but i also tanked on the same bleeping last 2 miles that i've tanked on in the 2 previous half marathons i completed. lack of energy, side stitch, where-the-bleep-is-the-finish-line-since-i-don't-know-this-course???

while i realize that the majority of the world's population are not distance runners, and yes, it's great to just complete this milestone, it's still frustrating when you let the brain win, and let your guard down enough and you fail yourself. or walk when you know you should push through. running is *SO* mental. and i have more work to do...

i tend to not get over things very easily, as a few of my friends have pointed out recently. hard to hear? yes, in fact when it's said right to my face it ticks me off like a spark to a match. but i know they're right. sigh. i'm pretty passionate about a lot of things, and i tend to take things too hard and care too much, which honest to god really can mess with me at times. i hate it. but it makes me who i am so i have to figure out how to spin that and make it work in my *favor* for once. or more often...

overall, big picture of the weekend as a whole? it *WAS* a good weekend~ AMAZING colors! beautiful course! almost all wide flat awesome trail...2 girls finished the full marathon, 4 of us the half. one of my friends had a runner's worst nightmare....had to pull out of the marathon race due to pushing herself too hard..made herself sick...she was really hoping to qualify for the boston marathon. a MAJOR goal for many experienced runners. She was crushed to have to pull out at mile 17, but she and Allycat have another marathon in 6 days (yes really!) so she did the right thing by pulling herself out. (no other choice really other than walking the remaining 9 miles back, which of course no one would really want to do, esp after being sick).

met some new people, spent time bonding as runners and great girlfriends, and ran into some familiar surprise faces you didn't know you'd see up at this particular race. (one of my regular's at ursula's was there which was a great surprise!)

i packed exactly TWO pairs of shoes. my asics and my ariat cowboy boots. that's it. that is the least amount of shoes i believe i have ever packed. on top of that? my two absolute favorite pairs...and it was great to see more cowboy boots & hats on local's at the brewery place than not. i think i'd do well in a small town...

a few pictures....they're pretty big files so click em to make em bigger if you wish...

the start of the half marathon in moquah...


the first mile...on a beautiful morning...


right before the final half mile...are we in wisconsin or what? pointing folks who use the trail to the nearby bar :) had to take a photo of that...


the first four half marathon finishers...


marathoners ally & karen icing in the mother lake...which it might look really silly to wear all that garb on your body to just soak your lower legs in icy water, but it really does help them stay warm in the right places...


allison & i at the post race brewery dinner....good beer, great friends, a photo or two..


on top of being disappointed in my finish is my post-vacation funk. and the plan that i have no races on the books, no major vacation plans for the future and that all feels wrong. almost stifling. and somehow lonely. which is probably just lame to write...

i sometimes feel like i get tired of planning trips or getaways all the time, but i almost always have something on the books to look forward to. since i have no real races planned, the running is going into a much more relaxed pattern. no more super long workouts. no more strict plans for so many miles per week...not until next training season in march. oh i'll still run 3-4 times a week, but if i miss a day or two or three, it'll be *okay*.

now we're in the thick of music season, so mark is gone almost every night during the week between music rehearsals or gigs, and working full time retail. so it'll be a lot of solo time hanging out at home, and it's time to break out the knitting and put some of my creative powers to work to make some christmas gifts. i can actually read more books (such a novel idea for a librarian).

to end on a glass-half-full kinda note, i AM proud of my accomplishments and goals that i did attain in the past 7-8 months. and here is the bling, all 5 medals, that make great reminders in my daily routine that every step, every mile, every race, good or bad, were worth it. ~jd

one more...

race. of the 'season'. running season pretty much goes may-october as far as big time races go....boston, fargo, grandma's, twin cities, chicago, san francisco, new york, marine corp to drop a few big time names...

this weekend me & da girls are running the whistlestop in ashland, WI.


3 peeps are doing the whole big 26.2, 4 of us are doing the 13.1 (by this point i'm sure you know which group i'm in ;)

ashland, for those that don't know, is near bayfield, way up on that little jutting out point of the state..beautiful part of WI. lots of fall colors at this time of year (hoo-ray!) and unlike last weekend, it's not supposed to rain that i read anywhere. and if it does, well, i've learned i can run in that too...


as a kid i went camping many summers with mom & dad & bro @ copper falls state park, in mellen, a small town about 30 min south of ashland, so i have had a good attachment to northern wisconsin for a long time.

i have no plans to pr this weekend (ie set a personal record) but you never know....i plan to run strong, finish well and rush back to shower and change so i can welcome home my marathon ladies @ the finish....

our hotel has a waterpark. can i tell you how old i last was when i went to a waterpark? probably 18, the summer my best high school friends and i jetted to disney world right after graduation...so suffice it to say, it's been a long time ;) but coach rudi is bringing her kids, and heck, even growd-ups need to unwind and the waterpark might just be the icing on the cake of an amazingly fun and challenging weekend ~ so better be sure i pack some kind of pool wear in addition to the running gear and man, i hope they have enough of the 'kiss my caboose' shorts they're selling at the marathon, cuz jd would love a pair of those bad boys ;)

more pics about the whole shebang sometime next week....peace & love, ~jd

a must see...

for anyone who knows a runner or *is* a runner....



this just came out yesterday....

it is phenomenal.

yes, it's about running. it highlights 2 novices, 1 regular 70ish gent, and 2 elite runners who train to complete (and win) the Chicago Marathon in 2005.

Seeing as a) I am a runner, b) I am running a half marathon this weekend, and c) The Chicago Marathon is this weekend, I wanted to plug this film. And watch it again too. It was in theaters for limited release earlier in the year...

I've begged our library system to order it.

And if I ever watch this the night before things like Grandma's Marathon opens for registration, I will, without a doubt, register.

I am not yet ready to eat my words, but a marathon just might be in my future...dream big. ~jd

there is nothing better...

than feeling exceedingly tired and being excited that you found really high quality awesome sheets on clearance today that cost nothing what they should have.

and that you get to go home and crawl into them in a matter of hours...

it's the little things sometimes.

high thread count awesomely soft sheets are one of this runner girl's favorite must haves.

swedish fish rank right up there as well :) (as do gebera daisies)

anyone else have favorites to share?

race day....the best yet...

first, and foremost, i had hoped for some fun pics to add to this post.

no dice. you'll read soon why not.

this morning started early.

4:45am or so...didn't sleep well as it was the night before race day.

'6000 people in my race' race day, in the hometown no less.

for some reason i was a little freaked about it....turned out to be my best race. ever. yep, i PR'd. set a personal record. 1:43:12. last time i ran a 10 mile my time was 5 minutes slower...so any kind of PR is one that i'll take....

despite 1.5 miles or so of cold hard rain at the finish...still a stellar day..

i ran the whole race with my amazing teammate (and she just so happens to live 2 blocks from me) Cindy..

we carpooled together with team member Val to the Kelly Inn in St Paul...

caught the school bus to the Dome near the start. fretted about how a steady rain was evident on the drive over the to Dome. hoped it would stop.

waited around the dome for a good 30-40 minutes and then it was time to find our corral. think cattle. 3 corrals. 3 sets of many many humans crammed into these starting areas that are fenced off.

finally, our wave, the last, was able to start....yay! we're off. except that there are so many people running that it takes a solid 2 miles or more to really get any room to spread out comfortably.

big cheers went up as we ran under the new 35W bridge (which prior to that i had yet to even drive over)...and we were soon a good 3-4 miles into the race...

it was awesome to run the race with Cindy. We played off each other's strengths really well, kept each other company and it was just a great time all around. we both said over and over we would never be where we are as runners if we hadn't joined our run club, and we are so SO thankful for our coaches working with us to make us competent, educated and successful runners....

3 times we saw our fellow runner gals, Allison, Karen, Claudia & Rudi at various viewing spots along Summit...having fans be there in person will do nothing but get you more motivated to get through another mile....so thanks girls! Ally, loved the sign! SO you!

the miles continued to flew by, and as they did the skies got a little bit darker....finally, by just after mile 8, the drizzle started. lightly at first of course, and then, with about 1.5 left, the skies opened into a really steady rain. by this point i was pretty chilled....and the rain didn't help.

but regardless of that, the finish to the race, soggy or not, was *awesome*. There was the end of Summit Ave, with Garrison Keillor walking to his house...'hi Garrison!' then the Catherdral looming in all of it's glory with the church bells striking 9am was right around the corner...

then the beautifully magnificent downhill into the finish area, complete with a ginormous American flag hoisted between two fire trucks...rain or no rain, i had my game face on with a smile no less, my legs were flying, and it was my best finish ever....

then we stopped running. give me that mylar blanket. now. holy cold to the bone! still smiling, still just being in the elements, literally....but it took a solid few hours to warm up! so the camera was in my sweats bag, and with the rain, there was just no reason to take pictures....sadly.

so was it the perfect day? yes and no. but overall, yet another thing that makes me feel that all of this work is worth it and that if you have a goal, all of that hard work pays off big time...

after the race we went to one of my favorite breakfast spots ever for corn pancakes, and then i took a huge nap. bliss.

one week from tonight I return from my last race of the season...hoping it goes just as well, even if it's 3.1 miles longer than today....

it's a full week for this runner girl. i turn into computer teaching girl for a few nights leading library patrons who wish to know more about Facebook & blogging through the paces....

so for now, that's all she wrote...~jd

save them....

today is october 1st.

october is breast cancer awareness month....

according to the CDC:
*breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women

*in 2004 over 186,000 women and 1,800 men were diagnosed

*in 2004 over 40,000 women and 350 men died from the disease

*it is one of the fastest growing diseases in women under 40

*the survival rate increases dramatically with early detection...this means self exams are imperative!

I have a cancer survivor grandmother of over 30 years.....she's almost 80 and still travels to Hawaii every winter to spend time with her friends...she's living on her own, sharp as a wit, and is someone that I could have lost at a very young age had she not been one of the lucky ones to survive.

Back in 2004, one of my high school classmates, Erica Bald, died of breast cancer at age 30. She left behind a husband and 2 small children...Erica was full of life, and while we drifted after high school, she did keep in touch with a mutual friend until the end. She had an amazing smile and laugh and it was shocking to learn of her death at such an early age 4 years ago...

I know that anyone reading this knows of someone, *someone* who has either lived or died from this diesase...

I rarely get preachy...not meaning to be so here. But for the sake of knowing how important girlfriends, wives, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and friends are to all of us, I felt a few words about this topic and the importance of self exams would be worthy...be well...~jd